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Hockey jokes

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David. "He plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

---

Mario Lemieux, Steve Yzerman and Wayne Gretzky all die at the same time. They all end up in heaven. God, being an avid hockey fan request that all 3 see him at the same time. The 3 greats meet with God, and God states to them that he wants them to sit next to him. God starts with Steve Yzerman and asks, "Why should you sit on my left?"

Steve replied with "I'm the longest running captain in hockey history. I'm one of the greatest scorers in history, and I've lead my team to a Stanley Cup on one knee"

God lets Yzerman take a seat on his left.

God then asks Mario why he should be allowed to sit on his right. Mario says, "Well, I turned a last place team into a back to back Stanley Cup championship team. I'm probably the most talented player of all time, and I'm the only player to score all 5 different goals in one game"

God lets Mario take a seat on his right.

God then turns to Wayne and says, "Hmm, where am I going to let you sit."

Wayne looks at him and says, "I think you're in my seat"
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May 2006

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